6 Beautiful Ways Grieving People Can Re-Connect with their Deceased Loved One

Content Warning: this blog post is about coping with the death of a loved one.

People die.

It hurts.

Even when we believe that our loved one’s soul persists after their body dies, inevitably there are times we feel alone.

In those times of sadness, we have forgotten that our loved ones are still with us in Spirit.

How can we maintain a connection with our loved ones, even when we’re going through the pain of grief and separation?

In fact, if you are open to the messages, there are an infinite number of ways that your loved ones can reach you.

Here are some beautiful ways to connect with, and potentially receive comfort from our loved ones after their passing.

Your own experiences are potentially comforting to others so please feel free to share below in the comments!

Be Open to Animals

Sometimes our loved ones come to us through animals, in particular animals with wings.  

If you have a whimsical nature, this may feel very natural and self-evident to you.

Or, you may like the idea, but feel uncertain about whether it’s true.

Either way, keep an open mind.

As best as possible, remember to be gentle and compassionate with yourself.

Here are a few real life examples:

Your loved one was passionate about eagles. While you are visiting their grave, an eagle flies in and lands close by. In that moment, you know – you feel a deep sense of knowing – that your loved one is with you.

A beautiful butterfly flies into your view; the thought immediately comes to your mind that it’s your loved one.

It is.

Asking / Listening

Our loved ones can sometimes connect with us through the senses, including our hearing.

This could happen at any time, including at the funeral – where something like the microphone malfunctioning could potentially be your loved one connecting with you playfully in the physical realm.  

Here’s an exercise you can try – if it appeals to you.

Set aside some quiet time.

Set a timer if you like.

Take some deep breaths.

Feel everything you’re feeling.

Picture your loved one.

Keep breathing.

If they were with you now, what would they say?

Allow their words to come to you. Feel everything. Breathe. Listen.

If you hear nothing, notice if you get frustrated or impatient.

Just see what happens, if anything.

Talk to them if that seems right.

There’s no right or wrong result – just notice and greet everything that comes.

Through Smell

Another way we sometimes feel loved ones is through smell.

After my husband Hank died, I remember being so crushed, and I couldn’t feel him.

But about a month after he passed I was sitting in his office and trying to focus on the bills. All of a sudden, I felt a presence moving behind me from one shoulder to the other, and with that sense I also had a very strong smell that was him.

I knew it right away and said “hi” and told him how much I missed him, and then broke down crying.

I couldn’t go back into the office again for a few weeks. But I was so happy to have had that sign❤️

Pay Attention to Your Dreams

If you have a dream (or multiple dreams) that includes your loved one, set aside some alone time to quietly journal and contemplate the dream.

What was the quality of the dream?

What do you think it meant?

How did it feel?

What went on?

How did it relate to your relationship before they passed?

You are the expert of your own dreams. No one else can interpret them as well as you can, so trust yourself as you go through this process.

Sometimes dreams with loved ones can have distinct vivid quality that are different from other dreams.

Notice if this is the case, and trust it.

Honor Where You Are

As you are able, take the time to notice and honor where you are.

Making a decision to feel your grief can be an incredibly huge step toward re-connecting with a loved one. As Tanja Taljaard writes in her article The Healing Power of Grief:  

“If we allow ourselves to experience the full impact of our grief, it has the power to heal the deepest of wounds. Shock is usually the first response to loss. It’s a protective transition into intense and overwhelming feelings that range from despair and anger to relief and joy.”

Decide to love yourself, no matter what you are feeling.

You may be experiencing any of the following:

Acute Grief

Neurologist Dr. Lisa M. Shulman (author of Before and After Loss: A Neurologist’s Perspective on Loss, Grief and the Brain) points out that loss of a loved one can result in emotional trauma that deeply affects the mind, brain and body.

She writes, “I realized that the problem wasn’t sorrow, it was a fog of confusion, disorientation, and delusions of magical thinking.”  

If you feel this way, acknowledge it.

Seek help.

Take one small step every day.

Be compassionate with yourself, caring about your own pain.

No Grief

If you feel no grief and you wonder what could be wrong with you, there is nothing to worry about. Surprisingly, some people do not grieve, and that can be completely normal as well. Dr. George Bonanno writes:

“People who are not showing grief symptoms, don’t do anything — they’re fine. In fact, they can be harmed by intruding on their lives. They don’t need to talk about it, but I think in this culture we have this sense that people need to talk about it — if they don’t talk about it, something is wrong — no, leave those people alone.”

Lack of Closure

When someone dies and things are left unfinished, sometimes you feel extremely unsettled by the lack of closure.

This is extremely common, and difficult to bear.

You are not alone.

“Humans do not deal well with the unresolved”
– Why We Need Closure: Your Brain on Grief by Deepti Varathan

If you feel this way, acknowledge it.

Seek help.

Give yourself compassion.

Prioritize Your Healing

In your impatience to re-connect with your loved one, this may sound like extremely annoying advice.

Nonetheless. To connect with our loved ones on the other side, the first and foremost best thing you can do is focus on healing yourself.

There is nothing more important you can do.

Here are some of my resources you can access for free:

5 Easy Techniques to Anxiety Relief

3 Easy Steps To Meet Your Spirit Guides

Everyone’s healing journey is different.

And of course, I would love to connect with you in my personal coaching program where we work on allowing the connection with deceased loved ones.

Sadness and loss can be a natural part of losing someone we love.

We miss them. We want to feel connected to them.

By making yourself and your healing a priority, you open yourself up for greater connection to your loved one, the Divine, and all physical manifestations of Spirit including (but not limited to):

• Being open to animals
• Asking / Listening
• Through smell
• Paying attention to your dreams
• Honoring where you are